Insert 7
After that quickie i just felt even more stupid. I was actually starting to
heal but i just had to sleep with Nqubeko. I got to my desk and took my
bag. I went to the bathroom and freshened up. I went out and got things
ready. I made a few calls and ordered things that were needed at the
office. When time came Mrs Vezi came and we went to the 5th floor. We
got off the lift i felt dizzy. Sma held my arm.
Sma: “ Hey easy there. Are you okay?”
Me: “ Yes i am okay but feel very light headed.” I held my head and i
sway again.
Sma: “No baby iza” she takes my arm and leads me to the nearest chair.
She disappears for a while and come back with cold water. She gives me
the water and i almost finish the bottle. I didn’t realise how much i needed
that.
Me: “Thank you” she nodded brushing my back.
Sma: “ You okay? Can you walk to the boardroom?” i nodded and i got
up.
We walked to the boardroom and passed Nqubeko’s office. Outside my
old desk there was a guy working there. I almost laughed. Mam Sma was
holding my files and we finally got to the boardroom.
We sat down and she got me another bottle of water.
Sma: “ When this meeting is done we will go see the Dr baby”
Me: “ Mah i...” she held up her hand.
Sma: “ I don’t even want to hear it. You are going to the Dr. End of
discussion” i looked ahead and i was pissed because nothing was wrong
with me. I didn’t want to go to the Dr. People started coming in and
Nqoba was also in that lot. He came over to me flashing a smile. He
kissed my cheek and sat next to me.
Nqoba: “ My beautiful wife” i chuckled.
Me: “ Handsome husband”
Nqoba: “ I’m sorry about what you saw this morning. You were not
supposed to see that” he rubbed his head.
Me: “ It’s okay husband. No harm done” he smiled and suddenly his
smiled turned into a smirk.
Nqoba: “ Did you see how big i’m packing” he licked his lips and i
laughed.
Me: “ Oh god you are disgusting” he chuckled. I grabbed my bottled
water and drank. I started fanning myself because it was suddenly so
very hot.
Nqoba: “ Hey. Are you okay?”
Me: “ It’s hot in here. Aren’t you feeling hot?” he looked at me and around
the room. Seems like i was the only one feeling this way.
Nqoba: “ No babe. It’s just you plus you’re sweating.” He took out napkin
for me to wipe my face. I stood up and walked towards the door and i
bumped into Nqubeko and Carol.
Carol: “ Oh Dear; you’re leaving already?” i nodded.
Nqubeko: “ Carol will you just stop. You got what you wanted so please.
Just stop it!” he voice was hard and his eyes were red.
Carol: “ What; i just wanted to invite her to our wedding. It’s in Cape Town
next month. Imagine. Nqubeko really outdid himself” she kissed his
cheek and went in. He looked at me with teary eyes and i was teary
myself. I felt very stupid i wanted to die.
I went out and mah Sma called my name but my vision was to blurry and
i was dizzy. My head was spinning and i was very sick. My eyes
darkened and then i fainted.
I woke up later and i was in bed. It smelled so fresh and good. The
perfume belonged to my boss though. The door opened and Simo got on
followed by his mom. I forgot to mention that Simo is a Dr. When Sma
saw me she ran to me and hugged me.
Sma: “ Oh my word. Are you okay?” i sat up and my stomach growled.
Me: “ I’m okay. Just hungry” she giggled and hugged me again.
Sma: “ Let me go get you something to eat” she went out closing the door
behind her. Simo walked to me and he was carrying a bag.
Simo: “ Friend i need you to pee on this glass and leave it on top of the
sink. I will take if from there. Can you do that for me before i locate what
exactly is making you sick?”
Me: “ How did i get here?”
Simo: “ Your sexy man’s sexy brother brought you here. He was with
mom. Luckily i was home when they brought you here” i nodded and got
out of bed. I noticed that i was wearing an over size t-shirt. I turned and
smiled at Simo. I got the transparent glass and went to the bathroom. I
peed on the glass and placed it on top of the sink. I washed my hands
and looked at myself.
I actually looked pathetic and i just hated myself for how i have been.
One kiss and i have my legs spread out for Nqubeko just like that. I was
actually very cheap and it hurt so bad.
I got out of the bathroom after washing my face and went to the bedroom.
I found Sma already back with a tray of food. I got in under the cover and
she placed the tray on top of me. I went right in it. It was ribs and some
chicken with rolls and wors. It was a lot of food but i ate ate ate and ate.
Simo took some things from his bag and headed to the bathroom after
putting on white gloves.
Sma: “ You must have been hungry hey” i looked at her and she was
smiling. I nodded.
Me: “ This food is delicious. I never knew ribs were this good” she looked
shocked.
Sma: “ You’ve never eaten them?” i shook my head.
Me: “ Not a fan of pork” i continued eating and i downed my food with a
glass of juice before i burped.
Simo appeared from the bathroom and he took a book from his bag.
Sma: “ What? What’s that look that you have on your face? What’s going
on?” he shook his head.
Simo: ‘ Mom please excuse us”
Sma: “ No she is my baby so i have to be here” she said shaking her
head.
Simo: “Mom please” he raised his voice a bit and she got up and left. I
looked at Simo and my heart was beating fast.
Me: “ What’s going on?”
Simo: “ Honey when was the last time you had your period?” he looked
concerned.
Me: “ I last had it in...” i couldn’t even remember and i looked at him.
Simo: “ You are pregnant my love” he sighed deeply and i laughed.
Me: “ Yeah right. Say something else.” I slept on my back looking at the
ceiling.
Simo: “ You are pregnant and i am guessing Nqubeko is the father”
I quickly sat up and i really couldn’t believe it. I placed a hand on my
tummy and Sma got in. She looked at my hand and she placed a hand
over her mouth.
Sma: “ Nqubeko; what have you done!” i felt my cheeks getting wet. I was
crying. I let out a sob and Sma rushed to me and held me in her arms.
What am i going to do? My head was swimming in thoughts and i was
losing my mind.
Sma: “ We will figure everything out” she rubbed my back rocking me.
Nqubeko is getting married. He doesn’t care about me and i don’t care
what happens but i was not going to have an abortion. I wiped my tears
and got out of Sma’s embrace.
Me: “ I need to go home” Her eyes widened.
Sma: “ Stay please. I have to make sure you’re okay”
Me: “ Please mah. I have to go home. We’ll talk later. I just want to rest”
She said okay. I got off the bed and she gave me jeans to wear. I wore
them and her slippers. After that i took my things and walked out because
Simo said he’ll take me home.
The drive home was quiet and i couldn’t stop crying. I wanted to die but i
had to keep going because my baby needed me to be alright. We got to
my place and i hugged Simo tightly and didn’t want to let go.
Simo: “ Please don’t do anything stupid.” I smiled faintly.
Me: “ I won’t. I love you Simo okay?” he gave me a concerned look.
Simo: “ I am not leaving you here alone” i chuckled.
Me: “ I am okay. I promise. I just need to be alone. I will call you later” i
hugged him again and got out of the car. I rushed inside the building and
got to my floor. When i got to our flat and it was empty. I took out my bags
and started packing. I really couldn’t stay here. I finished packing and sat
down to write some letters to Xoli; Sma; Xoli and Nqoba. I wrote another
one for my mother and i placed then on top of the kitchen counter. I
couldn’t stop crying and my heart was breaking. After wiping my tears i
took my bags and locked the door. I went downstairs and left the keys by
the security guys as mentioned in Xoli’s letter. The Uber driver loading
my bags an i got in. He drove away with a messy sobbing me. Bye Xoli,
Bye Mom; Bye Sanele, Bye Nqoba Bye Simo&Sma. Bye Nqubeko; I love
you.
Insert 8
Xoli
My name is Xolile Ntuli; Nokwazi’s best friend. We met in high school and
we have been friends since then. She helped me get through tough
times. My parents were killed in a tragic accident. Hiss family took
everything accept for the house and car. I didn’t have any money so i
sold the house and bought the flat that we live in. I looked for a job and i
am now a manager at a clothing store in town. I get by pretty well plus my
boyfriend takes care of everything.
I am currently going out with Nqoba and i met him through Kwazi. Nqoba
is quiet controlling but i like it. When i told him about me and Kwazi
having sex he sexed me so hard saying that he is fucking the
bisexualness out of me.
The way he messed up my nana i couldn’t even laugh. I love him and i
feel safe with him. So back to Nokwazi; i am worried about her. She
hasn’t been herself these last few months and Nqoba is also worried.
When i first got together with him i thought he felt sorry for mw because i
thought that he loves Kwazi but he assured me that he loves her as his
sister plus Nqubeko is the one who loves her but i doubt it.
I mean he fucked her and just discarded her just like that. So today i am
at work and i keep having this bad feeling that something bad is going
back. During my lunch break Nqoba came by and he looked really stress.
Me: “ Hey babe. You okay?” he shook his head no.
Me: “ What’s going on?” i asked because he just started the car and
drove away.
Nqoba: “ Nokwazi fainted at work and her boss took her. I can’t get hold
of her plus Nqoba is going ahead with his stupid wedding”
Me: “ My word! She must be devastated. Where did her boss take her?”
Nqoba: “ I’m sure she took her to the Dr and then home but her phone is
off”
Me: “ Strange. She never switches off her phone” he looked at me.
Nqoba: “ We should go check on her” i indicated that he should look out
front.
Me: “ Eyes on the road. If it won’t be trouble we could go”
Nqoba: “ Babe; don’t get me wrong i like that you have a place of your
own and you have a car as well but let me take care of you. I’ll get you a
new car and you move in with me”
Me: “ Huh? What will i say to Kwazi. I can’t just leave her alone” i was
really shocked.
Nqoba: “ I know baby but i want to be with you all the time and i want you
to go back to school” i started tearing up
Me: “ I can’t accept it Nqoba. Kwazi has been with me through thick and
thin. For me to leave her like that doesn’t make any sense and it’s not
fair.”
Nqoba: “ Can we talk about this later because i can see you’re not
hearing me.” He just drove faster. I was mad at him for being
inconsiderate. These last 2 months i only spent a week at my place and
the rest at his house. Yes i love him but if only he knew where Zee and i
come from he wouldn’t ask me to just move with him.
We drove to KFC and he got me wings. He knew how much i love them.
Trying to soften me up with food; sneaky man. We got to my place and
before going out he held my hand.
Nqoba: “ Babe i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as selfish. I love you
and i want you to be happy. I don’t like you turning me down but i
understand why you want your own place but baby i love you and i won’t
leave you. I will always be here for you. I want what’s best for you my
love okay?” i nodded with tears running down my face.
Me: “ Okay. I will talk to Kwazi and see if we can work something out. I
love you too baby. Thank you” we kissed long and passionately. We
pulled away and his eyes told me to get out of the car and run. I got out
and went inside the building. One security guy called me.
Security: “ Good Afternoon lady. Your friend left these keys to give to you”
he gave me Kwazi’s keys.
Me: “ Why did she give you the keys?” he shrugged his shoulder.
Security: “ She had a lot of bags with her and...”
He didn’t even finish talking i ran towards the lift with Nqoba shouting my
name following me. We got inside the lift and Nqoba asked me what the
problem is.
Nqoba: “ What’s going on?” he was breathing fast.
Me: “ I don’t know. Can we just get to the flat and i will tell you for sure if
it’s what i am thinking” he nodded. The lift opened and i ran to the flat. I
opened and ran to her bedroom and nearly fell. I opened her closet and it
wasn’t empty. I closed it again thinking that my eyes were deceiving me. I
opened again and it was empty. Nqoba called me from the kitchen.
Nqoba: “ Baby. Get in here!” i ran to the kitchen and there were letters on
top of the counter. One was addressed to me. I fell on the floor before
Nqoba could catch me. I started crying.
Nqoba: “ Baby you need to calm down and read what’s in thee letter”
Me: “ Why would she leave me? Why?”
Nqoba: “ Just don’t jump to conclusions.” I nodded and took the letter.
Dear Xoli the one who holds my heart
I am sorry for doing this to you but i had to leave. Thing is my friend i fell
in love not realising how much danger i was putting myself in; my heart
and spirit broke. I don’t even know what to do with myself. You think that i
have healed and that i am strong but deep down i am breaking. I am
pregnant friend. I disappointed you and mom. I am sorry. Please find it in
your heart to forgive me.
Give me a month before coming to see me. Where our dreams are.
Please don’t tell anyone where i am. Especially Nqubeko. I just need time
on my own. I really am sorry Xoli. I will see you soon. I love you .
Kwazi
Londiwe Kheswa
My name is Londiwe Kheswa; Nokwazi and Sanele’s mother. I work for
Hilton Hotel as the manager. That is how i managed to put my kids
through school but Nokwazi couldn’t further her studies because she
wanted to help out around the house.
Sanele is now in Grade 10 and he is becoming a handful. His father is
not present in his life as he is a married man. That is my issue; both my
kids are of the same father but they don’t know it and so does he. He
doesn’t know that he has 2 children from me. Let me explain it to you
better.
Busani Mngomezulu is their father. I met him at the hotel. He would come
there on business and that it how we met. He came to the front desk for
his suite number and keys. I gave them to him but he held my hand
looking deep into my eyes.
Following that he requested for me to come to his suite. When i got there
he had this whole romantic set up. I was shocked because i didn’t know
what’s going on because this man was married.
Busani: “ Please join me for late lunch” i stood by the door looking
around.
Me: “ I am sorry but i can’t join you. I am on duty”
Busani: “ I already spoke to your boss and he doesn’t mind you joining
me”
I joined him for lunch and we have one too many drinks. I woke up next
morning with a burning cookie. I gathered my clothes and went home. I
went back to the hotel later that day and i saw him with his wife. He
passed me like he didn’t know me. After that i just vowed off men. 9
months later i had my baby girl.
8 years later the same thing happened and i had Sanele. From that day
onwards i moved to a different hotel and i never saw him again. Yes i am
getting judged for this but i loved him; i still do. He promised that i would
be his second wife but i couldn’t sacrifice my children because he straight
out told me that if i were to fall pregnant he will kill my child but i did fall
pregnant; twice.
Been trying to be a good mother to my kids but life gets so hard
sometimes. So today is Friday and i am waiting for Nokwazi to come
home; as per tradition. I heard a knock on the door and i frowned
because Nokwazi never knocks. I went to open the door and it was her
friend Xolile.
Me: “ Xolile hey my baby. Please come in” i made way for her to come in
and i peeped outside. I only saw a car parked outside our gate. I closed
the door and we made way to the lounge.
Me: “ How are you baby?” her eyes were red and puffy she looked like
she had been crying.
Xoli: “ I’m surviving mah”
Me: “ Can i get you something to drink?” she shook her head no.
Xoli: “ I came to give you this” she handed me a letter written “ To mom”
Me: “ What’s this? Where is Kwazi?” she just cried.
Xoli: “ I don’t know. Maybe she indicated in the letter where she might
be.”
I opened the letter and it read
To mom Queen Of My Heart ❤i
I am sorry for taking off like this. It is for the best that i go away for a
while. Mom i fell in love and i turns out all he wanted was to get into my
pants and i fell pregnant. Yes mom i am pregnant. I am sorry for
disappointing me. I will come back someday but for now please don’t try
and find me. I moved somewhere in the North Coast because something
told me that i will find peace there. I really am sorry mom. I love you.
After reading that note my heart broke into pieces but something else
dawned on me. She is moving to the North Coast. No no no no no.
Busani; Nokwazi = North Coast.
After that quickie i just felt even more stupid. I was actually starting to
heal but i just had to sleep with Nqubeko. I got to my desk and took my
bag. I went to the bathroom and freshened up. I went out and got things
ready. I made a few calls and ordered things that were needed at the
office. When time came Mrs Vezi came and we went to the 5th floor. We
got off the lift i felt dizzy. Sma held my arm.
Sma: “ Hey easy there. Are you okay?”
Me: “ Yes i am okay but feel very light headed.” I held my head and i
sway again.
Sma: “No baby iza” she takes my arm and leads me to the nearest chair.
She disappears for a while and come back with cold water. She gives me
the water and i almost finish the bottle. I didn’t realise how much i needed
that.
Me: “Thank you” she nodded brushing my back.
Sma: “ You okay? Can you walk to the boardroom?” i nodded and i got
up.
We walked to the boardroom and passed Nqubeko’s office. Outside my
old desk there was a guy working there. I almost laughed. Mam Sma was
holding my files and we finally got to the boardroom.
We sat down and she got me another bottle of water.
Sma: “ When this meeting is done we will go see the Dr baby”
Me: “ Mah i...” she held up her hand.
Sma: “ I don’t even want to hear it. You are going to the Dr. End of
discussion” i looked ahead and i was pissed because nothing was wrong
with me. I didn’t want to go to the Dr. People started coming in and
Nqoba was also in that lot. He came over to me flashing a smile. He
kissed my cheek and sat next to me.
Nqoba: “ My beautiful wife” i chuckled.
Me: “ Handsome husband”
Nqoba: “ I’m sorry about what you saw this morning. You were not
supposed to see that” he rubbed his head.
Me: “ It’s okay husband. No harm done” he smiled and suddenly his
smiled turned into a smirk.
Nqoba: “ Did you see how big i’m packing” he licked his lips and i
laughed.
Me: “ Oh god you are disgusting” he chuckled. I grabbed my bottled
water and drank. I started fanning myself because it was suddenly so
very hot.
Nqoba: “ Hey. Are you okay?”
Me: “ It’s hot in here. Aren’t you feeling hot?” he looked at me and around
the room. Seems like i was the only one feeling this way.
Nqoba: “ No babe. It’s just you plus you’re sweating.” He took out napkin
for me to wipe my face. I stood up and walked towards the door and i
bumped into Nqubeko and Carol.
Carol: “ Oh Dear; you’re leaving already?” i nodded.
Nqubeko: “ Carol will you just stop. You got what you wanted so please.
Just stop it!” he voice was hard and his eyes were red.
Carol: “ What; i just wanted to invite her to our wedding. It’s in Cape Town
next month. Imagine. Nqubeko really outdid himself” she kissed his
cheek and went in. He looked at me with teary eyes and i was teary
myself. I felt very stupid i wanted to die.
I went out and mah Sma called my name but my vision was to blurry and
i was dizzy. My head was spinning and i was very sick. My eyes
darkened and then i fainted.
I woke up later and i was in bed. It smelled so fresh and good. The
perfume belonged to my boss though. The door opened and Simo got on
followed by his mom. I forgot to mention that Simo is a Dr. When Sma
saw me she ran to me and hugged me.
Sma: “ Oh my word. Are you okay?” i sat up and my stomach growled.
Me: “ I’m okay. Just hungry” she giggled and hugged me again.
Sma: “ Let me go get you something to eat” she went out closing the door
behind her. Simo walked to me and he was carrying a bag.
Simo: “ Friend i need you to pee on this glass and leave it on top of the
sink. I will take if from there. Can you do that for me before i locate what
exactly is making you sick?”
Me: “ How did i get here?”
Simo: “ Your sexy man’s sexy brother brought you here. He was with
mom. Luckily i was home when they brought you here” i nodded and got
out of bed. I noticed that i was wearing an over size t-shirt. I turned and
smiled at Simo. I got the transparent glass and went to the bathroom. I
peed on the glass and placed it on top of the sink. I washed my hands
and looked at myself.
I actually looked pathetic and i just hated myself for how i have been.
One kiss and i have my legs spread out for Nqubeko just like that. I was
actually very cheap and it hurt so bad.
I got out of the bathroom after washing my face and went to the bedroom.
I found Sma already back with a tray of food. I got in under the cover and
she placed the tray on top of me. I went right in it. It was ribs and some
chicken with rolls and wors. It was a lot of food but i ate ate ate and ate.
Simo took some things from his bag and headed to the bathroom after
putting on white gloves.
Sma: “ You must have been hungry hey” i looked at her and she was
smiling. I nodded.
Me: “ This food is delicious. I never knew ribs were this good” she looked
shocked.
Sma: “ You’ve never eaten them?” i shook my head.
Me: “ Not a fan of pork” i continued eating and i downed my food with a
glass of juice before i burped.
Simo appeared from the bathroom and he took a book from his bag.
Sma: “ What? What’s that look that you have on your face? What’s going
on?” he shook his head.
Simo: ‘ Mom please excuse us”
Sma: “ No she is my baby so i have to be here” she said shaking her
head.
Simo: “Mom please” he raised his voice a bit and she got up and left. I
looked at Simo and my heart was beating fast.
Me: “ What’s going on?”
Simo: “ Honey when was the last time you had your period?” he looked
concerned.
Me: “ I last had it in...” i couldn’t even remember and i looked at him.
Simo: “ You are pregnant my love” he sighed deeply and i laughed.
Me: “ Yeah right. Say something else.” I slept on my back looking at the
ceiling.
Simo: “ You are pregnant and i am guessing Nqubeko is the father”
I quickly sat up and i really couldn’t believe it. I placed a hand on my
tummy and Sma got in. She looked at my hand and she placed a hand
over her mouth.
Sma: “ Nqubeko; what have you done!” i felt my cheeks getting wet. I was
crying. I let out a sob and Sma rushed to me and held me in her arms.
What am i going to do? My head was swimming in thoughts and i was
losing my mind.
Sma: “ We will figure everything out” she rubbed my back rocking me.
Nqubeko is getting married. He doesn’t care about me and i don’t care
what happens but i was not going to have an abortion. I wiped my tears
and got out of Sma’s embrace.
Me: “ I need to go home” Her eyes widened.
Sma: “ Stay please. I have to make sure you’re okay”
Me: “ Please mah. I have to go home. We’ll talk later. I just want to rest”
She said okay. I got off the bed and she gave me jeans to wear. I wore
them and her slippers. After that i took my things and walked out because
Simo said he’ll take me home.
The drive home was quiet and i couldn’t stop crying. I wanted to die but i
had to keep going because my baby needed me to be alright. We got to
my place and i hugged Simo tightly and didn’t want to let go.
Simo: “ Please don’t do anything stupid.” I smiled faintly.
Me: “ I won’t. I love you Simo okay?” he gave me a concerned look.
Simo: “ I am not leaving you here alone” i chuckled.
Me: “ I am okay. I promise. I just need to be alone. I will call you later” i
hugged him again and got out of the car. I rushed inside the building and
got to my floor. When i got to our flat and it was empty. I took out my bags
and started packing. I really couldn’t stay here. I finished packing and sat
down to write some letters to Xoli; Sma; Xoli and Nqoba. I wrote another
one for my mother and i placed then on top of the kitchen counter. I
couldn’t stop crying and my heart was breaking. After wiping my tears i
took my bags and locked the door. I went downstairs and left the keys by
the security guys as mentioned in Xoli’s letter. The Uber driver loading
my bags an i got in. He drove away with a messy sobbing me. Bye Xoli,
Bye Mom; Bye Sanele, Bye Nqoba Bye Simo&Sma. Bye Nqubeko; I love
you.
Insert 8
Xoli
My name is Xolile Ntuli; Nokwazi’s best friend. We met in high school and
we have been friends since then. She helped me get through tough
times. My parents were killed in a tragic accident. Hiss family took
everything accept for the house and car. I didn’t have any money so i
sold the house and bought the flat that we live in. I looked for a job and i
am now a manager at a clothing store in town. I get by pretty well plus my
boyfriend takes care of everything.
I am currently going out with Nqoba and i met him through Kwazi. Nqoba
is quiet controlling but i like it. When i told him about me and Kwazi
having sex he sexed me so hard saying that he is fucking the
bisexualness out of me.
The way he messed up my nana i couldn’t even laugh. I love him and i
feel safe with him. So back to Nokwazi; i am worried about her. She
hasn’t been herself these last few months and Nqoba is also worried.
When i first got together with him i thought he felt sorry for mw because i
thought that he loves Kwazi but he assured me that he loves her as his
sister plus Nqubeko is the one who loves her but i doubt it.
I mean he fucked her and just discarded her just like that. So today i am
at work and i keep having this bad feeling that something bad is going
back. During my lunch break Nqoba came by and he looked really stress.
Me: “ Hey babe. You okay?” he shook his head no.
Me: “ What’s going on?” i asked because he just started the car and
drove away.
Nqoba: “ Nokwazi fainted at work and her boss took her. I can’t get hold
of her plus Nqoba is going ahead with his stupid wedding”
Me: “ My word! She must be devastated. Where did her boss take her?”
Nqoba: “ I’m sure she took her to the Dr and then home but her phone is
off”
Me: “ Strange. She never switches off her phone” he looked at me.
Nqoba: “ We should go check on her” i indicated that he should look out
front.
Me: “ Eyes on the road. If it won’t be trouble we could go”
Nqoba: “ Babe; don’t get me wrong i like that you have a place of your
own and you have a car as well but let me take care of you. I’ll get you a
new car and you move in with me”
Me: “ Huh? What will i say to Kwazi. I can’t just leave her alone” i was
really shocked.
Nqoba: “ I know baby but i want to be with you all the time and i want you
to go back to school” i started tearing up
Me: “ I can’t accept it Nqoba. Kwazi has been with me through thick and
thin. For me to leave her like that doesn’t make any sense and it’s not
fair.”
Nqoba: “ Can we talk about this later because i can see you’re not
hearing me.” He just drove faster. I was mad at him for being
inconsiderate. These last 2 months i only spent a week at my place and
the rest at his house. Yes i love him but if only he knew where Zee and i
come from he wouldn’t ask me to just move with him.
We drove to KFC and he got me wings. He knew how much i love them.
Trying to soften me up with food; sneaky man. We got to my place and
before going out he held my hand.
Nqoba: “ Babe i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as selfish. I love you
and i want you to be happy. I don’t like you turning me down but i
understand why you want your own place but baby i love you and i won’t
leave you. I will always be here for you. I want what’s best for you my
love okay?” i nodded with tears running down my face.
Me: “ Okay. I will talk to Kwazi and see if we can work something out. I
love you too baby. Thank you” we kissed long and passionately. We
pulled away and his eyes told me to get out of the car and run. I got out
and went inside the building. One security guy called me.
Security: “ Good Afternoon lady. Your friend left these keys to give to you”
he gave me Kwazi’s keys.
Me: “ Why did she give you the keys?” he shrugged his shoulder.
Security: “ She had a lot of bags with her and...”
He didn’t even finish talking i ran towards the lift with Nqoba shouting my
name following me. We got inside the lift and Nqoba asked me what the
problem is.
Nqoba: “ What’s going on?” he was breathing fast.
Me: “ I don’t know. Can we just get to the flat and i will tell you for sure if
it’s what i am thinking” he nodded. The lift opened and i ran to the flat. I
opened and ran to her bedroom and nearly fell. I opened her closet and it
wasn’t empty. I closed it again thinking that my eyes were deceiving me. I
opened again and it was empty. Nqoba called me from the kitchen.
Nqoba: “ Baby. Get in here!” i ran to the kitchen and there were letters on
top of the counter. One was addressed to me. I fell on the floor before
Nqoba could catch me. I started crying.
Nqoba: “ Baby you need to calm down and read what’s in thee letter”
Me: “ Why would she leave me? Why?”
Nqoba: “ Just don’t jump to conclusions.” I nodded and took the letter.
Dear Xoli the one who holds my heart
I am sorry for doing this to you but i had to leave. Thing is my friend i fell
in love not realising how much danger i was putting myself in; my heart
and spirit broke. I don’t even know what to do with myself. You think that i
have healed and that i am strong but deep down i am breaking. I am
pregnant friend. I disappointed you and mom. I am sorry. Please find it in
your heart to forgive me.
Give me a month before coming to see me. Where our dreams are.
Please don’t tell anyone where i am. Especially Nqubeko. I just need time
on my own. I really am sorry Xoli. I will see you soon. I love you .
Kwazi
Londiwe Kheswa
My name is Londiwe Kheswa; Nokwazi and Sanele’s mother. I work for
Hilton Hotel as the manager. That is how i managed to put my kids
through school but Nokwazi couldn’t further her studies because she
wanted to help out around the house.
Sanele is now in Grade 10 and he is becoming a handful. His father is
not present in his life as he is a married man. That is my issue; both my
kids are of the same father but they don’t know it and so does he. He
doesn’t know that he has 2 children from me. Let me explain it to you
better.
Busani Mngomezulu is their father. I met him at the hotel. He would come
there on business and that it how we met. He came to the front desk for
his suite number and keys. I gave them to him but he held my hand
looking deep into my eyes.
Following that he requested for me to come to his suite. When i got there
he had this whole romantic set up. I was shocked because i didn’t know
what’s going on because this man was married.
Busani: “ Please join me for late lunch” i stood by the door looking
around.
Me: “ I am sorry but i can’t join you. I am on duty”
Busani: “ I already spoke to your boss and he doesn’t mind you joining
me”
I joined him for lunch and we have one too many drinks. I woke up next
morning with a burning cookie. I gathered my clothes and went home. I
went back to the hotel later that day and i saw him with his wife. He
passed me like he didn’t know me. After that i just vowed off men. 9
months later i had my baby girl.
8 years later the same thing happened and i had Sanele. From that day
onwards i moved to a different hotel and i never saw him again. Yes i am
getting judged for this but i loved him; i still do. He promised that i would
be his second wife but i couldn’t sacrifice my children because he straight
out told me that if i were to fall pregnant he will kill my child but i did fall
pregnant; twice.
Been trying to be a good mother to my kids but life gets so hard
sometimes. So today is Friday and i am waiting for Nokwazi to come
home; as per tradition. I heard a knock on the door and i frowned
because Nokwazi never knocks. I went to open the door and it was her
friend Xolile.
Me: “ Xolile hey my baby. Please come in” i made way for her to come in
and i peeped outside. I only saw a car parked outside our gate. I closed
the door and we made way to the lounge.
Me: “ How are you baby?” her eyes were red and puffy she looked like
she had been crying.
Xoli: “ I’m surviving mah”
Me: “ Can i get you something to drink?” she shook her head no.
Xoli: “ I came to give you this” she handed me a letter written “ To mom”
Me: “ What’s this? Where is Kwazi?” she just cried.
Xoli: “ I don’t know. Maybe she indicated in the letter where she might
be.”
I opened the letter and it read
To mom Queen Of My Heart ❤i
I am sorry for taking off like this. It is for the best that i go away for a
while. Mom i fell in love and i turns out all he wanted was to get into my
pants and i fell pregnant. Yes mom i am pregnant. I am sorry for
disappointing me. I will come back someday but for now please don’t try
and find me. I moved somewhere in the North Coast because something
told me that i will find peace there. I really am sorry mom. I love you.
After reading that note my heart broke into pieces but something else
dawned on me. She is moving to the North Coast. No no no no no.
Busani; Nokwazi = North Coast.
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